I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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