it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize