I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
