And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
