Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
