the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
