just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
what day is it and did you see me today?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
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