She announced her abortion via fbk
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize