Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
