Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
he's gonorrhea incarnate
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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