By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
