Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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