Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
