I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
