we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
