as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
