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• (845): View more from New York

  I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  have you facebook stalked him yet?

  (1-803): View more from South Carolina

  No, I don’t know his last name...

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Just google his license plate numb

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• (281): View more from Texas

  So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"

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• (516): View more from New York

  Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.

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• (716): View more from New York

  We found Mulan.

  (409): View more from Texas

  I thought you were in bed what the hell

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?

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• (903): View more from Texas

  I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name

  (425): View more from Washington

  I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it

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