I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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