I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
