I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize