Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
