I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
