Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
