I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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