I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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