And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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