Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
