Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
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