just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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