I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
