My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
