I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
