I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
