Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Are we still banned from the library?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
