Sponge bath it is.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize