Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
