My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
