We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
