I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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