I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
