The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
