I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
