When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
