What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize