So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
dude. I can hear the air.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
