we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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