Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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