at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
