I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
