I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
