I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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