Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
