I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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