No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
