we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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