So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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