bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
