mondays should just be called national damage control day
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
