btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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