In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
