I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
