we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I think I am morally bankrupt
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
