Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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