so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
It's never too late to be topless.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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