I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
