Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
