please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
