i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
