This house was built for laser tag.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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