We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i now understand why vodka
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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