This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
