please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
dude i'm inner monologue high
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
