Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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