Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
so much tequila, so little girl.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
