I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
