Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We need a shit load of segways right now
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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